Love. I love you, my sister, brother, family, friends, and anyone who comes along in my life! You say those three words to me and I'm gonna be latched to you for the rest of your life no matter what happens!
I've realized that I say I love you. A lot. I say it to people I've known for just this school year or people I've known all my life. Some people don't really get how you could love someone you just met, but it's possible. I've learned to really open my heart. But that can turn bad if you don't realize what's going on around you.
I love my friends and family unconditionally. I have friends who I treat as siblings and then friends that I see on occasion. I love them all. And my family. They mean the world to me. I really couldn't live a day in my life without being around them. I always feel like I leave a piece of my heart with them when I'm gone for a few days.
I have said those three magic words to two guys in my life, each time ending not so happily ever after, but I'm thankful for them. They taught me three things about my self:
1). You shouldn't rush love. Take your time.
2). You don't need to be attached at the hip.
3). You need to stand for your beliefs.
Of course there are many more, but those three things stand out the most to me.
With each relationship I've been in, wether I was in love or not, I've left a tiny piece of my heart behind - unwillingly. I came out a better person, but of course, my heart was a little battered. My heart eventually went back to its original state, but then I would go through "love" again and my heart would come out weaker.
In my last breakup, I actually came out with a stronger heart and tougher skin. I'll listen to my heart more often in the relationship and see how it's feeling from time to time.
Music helps me heal everytime. It fills me up with beats and words that give me a new light in my world. Music is like ice cream for the soul.
I'm very happy at the moment. I have great friends, family, and a job! I'm thankful everyday for my ups and downs. I've learned from everything God has put in my life. (: MaggieMae909 ♥
Monday, October 25, 2010
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Forgive and Forget
You've probably heard this all your life "Oh, just forgive him/her and forget about it." As a child, it's sorta hard to understand it. What exactly is forgiveness? Why do we have to forgive? Why forget about it?
I have been thinking so much about forgiveness lately. I never really had to forgive anything major. If someone hurt me, like were rude to me or they made me trip, I'd usually say just forget about it. No worries, you know? Well as I got older, things became more serious. Those rude things turned into nasty cuts to my heart and stabs in the back. We weren't in kindergarten anymore. I wish we were.
The mean things people did to me put me down. I rebelled against my parents and God. Church was the answer at those moments, but I didn't think so. I thought the world was, but I was terribly wrong. I saw anything pure as the enemy. I didn't need it in my mind.
I was digging myself into a hole, one that was small and dark and secluded. How far can I get away from anything and anyone? Will they see how far I'm going? I saw these people I hung out with as friends, but they were the ones actually helping dig the hole I was in. I finally saw that they were not good for my soul and distanced myself from them. I spent a lot of time praying and reading the bible. This helped in the best way possible.
I finally climbed out my hole. I forgave every single person on my "list." Now came the hard part.
Forgetting something is hard to do in this life. Everything you do can be put up on the Internet or sent in a text and is forever set in ink. You can delete it, but it'll get around. Fast.
I thought just being away from certain people and not talking to them would make my wounds heal and my soul whole again. I was wrong, again. I had to start forgetting about everything that had gone on in the months we had spent together and everything we had done to each other. It will eventually come that I won't think about those days for months at a time. I'm still waiting for that.
Forgiveness comes from the heart and every thought of hatred towards that person must be surrendered. It's an every day struggle, but have faith. MaggieMae909 (:♥
I have been thinking so much about forgiveness lately. I never really had to forgive anything major. If someone hurt me, like were rude to me or they made me trip, I'd usually say just forget about it. No worries, you know? Well as I got older, things became more serious. Those rude things turned into nasty cuts to my heart and stabs in the back. We weren't in kindergarten anymore. I wish we were.
The mean things people did to me put me down. I rebelled against my parents and God. Church was the answer at those moments, but I didn't think so. I thought the world was, but I was terribly wrong. I saw anything pure as the enemy. I didn't need it in my mind.
I was digging myself into a hole, one that was small and dark and secluded. How far can I get away from anything and anyone? Will they see how far I'm going? I saw these people I hung out with as friends, but they were the ones actually helping dig the hole I was in. I finally saw that they were not good for my soul and distanced myself from them. I spent a lot of time praying and reading the bible. This helped in the best way possible.
I finally climbed out my hole. I forgave every single person on my "list." Now came the hard part.
Forgetting something is hard to do in this life. Everything you do can be put up on the Internet or sent in a text and is forever set in ink. You can delete it, but it'll get around. Fast.
I thought just being away from certain people and not talking to them would make my wounds heal and my soul whole again. I was wrong, again. I had to start forgetting about everything that had gone on in the months we had spent together and everything we had done to each other. It will eventually come that I won't think about those days for months at a time. I'm still waiting for that.
Forgiveness comes from the heart and every thought of hatred towards that person must be surrendered. It's an every day struggle, but have faith. MaggieMae909 (:♥
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
No Regrets
"Regret" is not a word in my vocabulary. It is of no use. I have found throughout my life that regrets are things that you really don't need. My guy friend asked me the other day if i regretted doing somthing. I told him no. I did it for a reason. If i did it in the first place i meant to do it and I'll stick to it.
Something I don't think people get is that there is no reverse button in life. You can't go back and redo whatever it is that you didn't mean to do. And God puts all those choices in your life for a reason too.
People mostly regret meeting people, right? I've come to think and know of everyone that I've crossed paths with, good or bad, a blessing. And I've known some pretty nasty people. Most of them being guys. I've been asked before "Do you regret ever being with so-and-so?" I'll tell them flat out "No. Why should I?" They've helped shape who I am today.
I didn't do anything horrible with anyone, they just didn't have pure intentions. They've probably done stuff that I would be shocked about, but I honestly wouldn't care. That's their past and their life that they choose to live. Same for me. I have this life to live and make good choices for. I could choose the easy path or the one that takes some time to actually get through. I would choose the one that takes some time to get through. I could actually learn something about myself along the way.
That's what your choices are. They mold you into the person you're going to be. You treat them like a lesson more than anything. And even if you do have regrets, don't have shame! It will make you sad in life and you need to have the happiest life ever! You have one life to live, so live it to the fullest. MaggieMae909 ♥
Something I don't think people get is that there is no reverse button in life. You can't go back and redo whatever it is that you didn't mean to do. And God puts all those choices in your life for a reason too.
People mostly regret meeting people, right? I've come to think and know of everyone that I've crossed paths with, good or bad, a blessing. And I've known some pretty nasty people. Most of them being guys. I've been asked before "Do you regret ever being with so-and-so?" I'll tell them flat out "No. Why should I?" They've helped shape who I am today.
I didn't do anything horrible with anyone, they just didn't have pure intentions. They've probably done stuff that I would be shocked about, but I honestly wouldn't care. That's their past and their life that they choose to live. Same for me. I have this life to live and make good choices for. I could choose the easy path or the one that takes some time to actually get through. I would choose the one that takes some time to get through. I could actually learn something about myself along the way.
That's what your choices are. They mold you into the person you're going to be. You treat them like a lesson more than anything. And even if you do have regrets, don't have shame! It will make you sad in life and you need to have the happiest life ever! You have one life to live, so live it to the fullest. MaggieMae909 ♥
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Love Notes
You know when you're in elementary school, or middle school for that matter, you write little notes to your crush at the time? Or you wrote unending pages in your journal all about that special someone. Oh how love was so simplistic back then. It was either "check yes or no."
My first big crush was in first grade. His name was Austin. He lived two houses down and we played Prince and Princess every day after school. That was love to me. Then I moved away. Five years later, I met another boy, who we'll call "The Jerk." He caught my heart. I thought I was in love then, but I was wrong. My heart was shattered into tiny little shards. I couldn't stand the thought of him. He destroyed my happiness.
I eventually got over that, by the way. I moved on. It was as awkward as anything if I was ever around him. I ignored him as long as I could, but through the months, we ended up being able to have a civilized conversation with each other. I didn't claw his eyes out. We were at peace.
When I got over him, I found a new guy, who we'll call "The Weakling." I called him my boyfriend, but it was more like a fling. We were together less than a month. I was the dumper, as opposed to being the dumpee. It felt impowering to do that, but I know that I broke his heart like the other guy broke mine.
After we had broken up, I had several flings which left me battered and bruised on the inside. My self-esteem was in the lowest valley. I hated boys. They were of no use to me. I wanted nothing to do with them. But that changed within a matter of months. My eyes were opened to a new breed of men: The Gentleman.
I'd known this guy, The Gentleman, for about a year. The first time our eyes met each other, something clicked inside of me. I know, that sounds like such a cheesy romance novel line, but it's so true, something really did click! I admired him from afar. I thought multiple times that he didn't notice me or he liked someone else, but I finally got the guts to say something to him. He ended up returning the feelings.
We went on a date. A real date. Not just hanging out, but going somewhere and him paying for me. It was the greatest thing any guy had ever done for me. He opened my car door, too!
I went home that night, ecstatic that I'd found this guy that was a gentleman. He cared more about the woman than himself. That is SO hard to find these days. It took me forever to find him.
We've been together for 7 months now. They have been the best seven months of my life, just because of him. The kinds of feelings I have for him aren't "check yes or no", they're way more than that. (: MaggieMae909♥
My first big crush was in first grade. His name was Austin. He lived two houses down and we played Prince and Princess every day after school. That was love to me. Then I moved away. Five years later, I met another boy, who we'll call "The Jerk." He caught my heart. I thought I was in love then, but I was wrong. My heart was shattered into tiny little shards. I couldn't stand the thought of him. He destroyed my happiness.
I eventually got over that, by the way. I moved on. It was as awkward as anything if I was ever around him. I ignored him as long as I could, but through the months, we ended up being able to have a civilized conversation with each other. I didn't claw his eyes out. We were at peace.
When I got over him, I found a new guy, who we'll call "The Weakling." I called him my boyfriend, but it was more like a fling. We were together less than a month. I was the dumper, as opposed to being the dumpee. It felt impowering to do that, but I know that I broke his heart like the other guy broke mine.
After we had broken up, I had several flings which left me battered and bruised on the inside. My self-esteem was in the lowest valley. I hated boys. They were of no use to me. I wanted nothing to do with them. But that changed within a matter of months. My eyes were opened to a new breed of men: The Gentleman.
I'd known this guy, The Gentleman, for about a year. The first time our eyes met each other, something clicked inside of me. I know, that sounds like such a cheesy romance novel line, but it's so true, something really did click! I admired him from afar. I thought multiple times that he didn't notice me or he liked someone else, but I finally got the guts to say something to him. He ended up returning the feelings.
We went on a date. A real date. Not just hanging out, but going somewhere and him paying for me. It was the greatest thing any guy had ever done for me. He opened my car door, too!
I went home that night, ecstatic that I'd found this guy that was a gentleman. He cared more about the woman than himself. That is SO hard to find these days. It took me forever to find him.
We've been together for 7 months now. They have been the best seven months of my life, just because of him. The kinds of feelings I have for him aren't "check yes or no", they're way more than that. (: MaggieMae909♥
Thursday, August 5, 2010
On The Brightside
I'm obsessing over this song by NeverShoutNever at the moment. It's talking about how now matter what the world thinks of you, no matter how small your heart can make you feel, you're important. No matter what. There is always someone that makes you smile, laugh, shine, and be the best "you" there can be.
The song, called "On The Bright Side", is so upbeat. I listen to it about everyday, which puts me in the best mood possible. Puts me in a natural high...
It's sorta hard to explain the feelings it gives me. I think about things while I listen to the song. Puts me in this perspective that can only be seen if I'm listening to this song. I think about my relationships with people, my family, my job, music, etc., etc.
I wish everyone could see this perspective. It changes you.
I'm a natural optimist, so what this song was trying to get across, I already knew. I live it every single day of my life. I try and treat every person I know with kindness. I give them my smile. There are some people I have come to know that I find very difficult to get along with or to just trust in general. But if I were to cross paths with them in my life again, I'd try my darnedest to give them a genuine smile. Who wants to be given fake happiness? That's the biggest blow to the heart.
People who are fake, get nowhere in life. Being fake to someone is being fake to yourself. It's showing that you can't even deal with a 10 minuet conversation... It's disappointing to see that in the society we live in. I dislike it very much.
I used dislike, not hate. Hate is a HUGE word. I catch myself saying it and I stop and think. You don't need to hate things. Hate is something that comes from within, deep down. I hate no one right now and am very proud of myself. Who wants to hate and be hated in return? It brings you down more than it helps.
Look on the bright side of life. You'll find that it is so much better. Be an optimist. Surround yourself with nature. Live an amazing life. MaggieMae909♥
The song, called "On The Bright Side", is so upbeat. I listen to it about everyday, which puts me in the best mood possible. Puts me in a natural high...
It's sorta hard to explain the feelings it gives me. I think about things while I listen to the song. Puts me in this perspective that can only be seen if I'm listening to this song. I think about my relationships with people, my family, my job, music, etc., etc.
I wish everyone could see this perspective. It changes you.
I'm a natural optimist, so what this song was trying to get across, I already knew. I live it every single day of my life. I try and treat every person I know with kindness. I give them my smile. There are some people I have come to know that I find very difficult to get along with or to just trust in general. But if I were to cross paths with them in my life again, I'd try my darnedest to give them a genuine smile. Who wants to be given fake happiness? That's the biggest blow to the heart.
People who are fake, get nowhere in life. Being fake to someone is being fake to yourself. It's showing that you can't even deal with a 10 minuet conversation... It's disappointing to see that in the society we live in. I dislike it very much.
I used dislike, not hate. Hate is a HUGE word. I catch myself saying it and I stop and think. You don't need to hate things. Hate is something that comes from within, deep down. I hate no one right now and am very proud of myself. Who wants to hate and be hated in return? It brings you down more than it helps.
Look on the bright side of life. You'll find that it is so much better. Be an optimist. Surround yourself with nature. Live an amazing life. MaggieMae909♥
Sunday, July 25, 2010
525,600 minuets
525, 600 minuets are in a year. We can do a lot in that amount. It seems like so much at first, but then you stop and realize that half that amount is gone.
It blows me away to realize what I did with that time. I didn't spend it the way I wanted to or I wanted to make time go faster because something was going on at that moment. Time is not my friend, for sure.
A lot of times, I imagine myself in a time machine, able to go back to a certain point in time and just fixing it or just being able to do it over and over and over again. It's a dream alright. But I know I'll never get one. Science doesn't allow that to happen. Yet.
Even if it's small mistakes, like forgetting about something small, or forgetting to put away my clothes, I'd go back and change that. Or I'd want to see how my life would've been if my family hadn't moved or we didn't have one sibling, including me. I wonder these things all the time.
I try to limit my time with certain things, especially TV and computer. I spend a lot time with those things. It's quite disappointing when I realize that's all I've done all day. But then I try and do something productive, like cleaning, reading, or excersizing. It lasts for about a day and then I get into my old habits again. I struggle constantly with that.. grr
So what are you doing with your time? Good stuff, bad stuff, or just unproductive stuff? I do all of the above. MaggieMae909♥
It blows me away to realize what I did with that time. I didn't spend it the way I wanted to or I wanted to make time go faster because something was going on at that moment. Time is not my friend, for sure.
A lot of times, I imagine myself in a time machine, able to go back to a certain point in time and just fixing it or just being able to do it over and over and over again. It's a dream alright. But I know I'll never get one. Science doesn't allow that to happen. Yet.
Even if it's small mistakes, like forgetting about something small, or forgetting to put away my clothes, I'd go back and change that. Or I'd want to see how my life would've been if my family hadn't moved or we didn't have one sibling, including me. I wonder these things all the time.
I try to limit my time with certain things, especially TV and computer. I spend a lot time with those things. It's quite disappointing when I realize that's all I've done all day. But then I try and do something productive, like cleaning, reading, or excersizing. It lasts for about a day and then I get into my old habits again. I struggle constantly with that.. grr
So what are you doing with your time? Good stuff, bad stuff, or just unproductive stuff? I do all of the above. MaggieMae909♥
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Roller coasters
The past year has been the most emotional roller coaster I could ever go on. Ups, downs, and loops. I went through all of those things. It was terrifying beyond any other feeling. But you wanna know something? Just like real roller coasters, I was brought back to level ground.
The roller coaster was shaky and I really didn't know how stable it was going to be.
The ups were new friends, new productions, my license. I was on a high for an indefinite time. Then the downs came. Heartbreak, questions, death. I wasn't ready for any of them. They hit me like bricks. I broke down in front of my mom or on my bed, asking how I could do this to myself.
Why was this happening?!
I went on with my life as if nothing was going on. All sun shines and rainbows on the outside, thunder and clouds on the inside. Then it hit me:
Life was actually still going on.
Life would still go on, no matter what. It wouldn't stand still forever. I needed to live my life. I was hurting myself without even trying.
Roller coasters, they're so inevitable. You won't know you're one until you find yourself at the top of a hill and you're falling down, hard. It'll get better, promise. (: MaggieMae909♥
The roller coaster was shaky and I really didn't know how stable it was going to be.
The ups were new friends, new productions, my license. I was on a high for an indefinite time. Then the downs came. Heartbreak, questions, death. I wasn't ready for any of them. They hit me like bricks. I broke down in front of my mom or on my bed, asking how I could do this to myself.
Why was this happening?!
I went on with my life as if nothing was going on. All sun shines and rainbows on the outside, thunder and clouds on the inside. Then it hit me:
Life was actually still going on.
Life would still go on, no matter what. It wouldn't stand still forever. I needed to live my life. I was hurting myself without even trying.
Roller coasters, they're so inevitable. You won't know you're one until you find yourself at the top of a hill and you're falling down, hard. It'll get better, promise. (: MaggieMae909♥
Friday, June 25, 2010
Oxygen
We all need oxygen, right? It's something we can't live without. What if we treated God like that? Like he was oxygen and we couldn't live without him? I think about that a lot. He's given so much and we don't even think about it. He obviously WANTS us to live or He wouldn't have even put us on the planet to start with. I sometimes fail to notice this in my day to day life. I fail to pray to Him and thank Him for the amazing things He's given me. I could've fallen horribly into Satan's path last year. Satan was disturbing my life, making me want to do things that were so ungodly. I went against it though, because now I'm so happy.
Life could not be any better. I breath oxygen every single day, which means I'm thinking about God each day. I look outside at the trees and grass and flowers and all the annoying little pests that bother me and know that He put 'em there for a reason.
Now don't think I'm trying to push God onto you. I am so not doing that. I'm not trying to be this so very Christian girl with the best values and she's better than you. I really am not. I fall so many times in my Walk, it's not even funny. I highly doubt this blog will be based on God every single time. This might be the ONLY time I write about Him.
I wonder what this life would be like without churches and bibles and praying? Would people run crazy and not know what to do without the guidance of an omnipotent being? Everyone would feel that they could do whatever, right? They wouldn't feel or see the harm that they cause to themselves and the others.
God is like Santa Claus. He sees you when you are sleeping, knows if you have been good or bad. When that specific day comes around (December 25) and you've been either good or bad, He'll give you what you deserve: coal & switches or shiny new toys that you've had your eyes on for a while.
He knows what you need too. Sometimes you'll get to a point where you just want to sit down and take a rest, but He knows you can't, because if you do, you'll start getting lazy. You'll start not caring. He never wants that for you. He wants you to hold your head up high and be optimistic and worldly.
To sum it up, at the beginning of the day, say a little prayer, which is like a big gulp of air. It'll help you through the day, I promise. (: MaggieMae909 ♥
Life could not be any better. I breath oxygen every single day, which means I'm thinking about God each day. I look outside at the trees and grass and flowers and all the annoying little pests that bother me and know that He put 'em there for a reason.
Now don't think I'm trying to push God onto you. I am so not doing that. I'm not trying to be this so very Christian girl with the best values and she's better than you. I really am not. I fall so many times in my Walk, it's not even funny. I highly doubt this blog will be based on God every single time. This might be the ONLY time I write about Him.
I wonder what this life would be like without churches and bibles and praying? Would people run crazy and not know what to do without the guidance of an omnipotent being? Everyone would feel that they could do whatever, right? They wouldn't feel or see the harm that they cause to themselves and the others.
God is like Santa Claus. He sees you when you are sleeping, knows if you have been good or bad. When that specific day comes around (December 25) and you've been either good or bad, He'll give you what you deserve: coal & switches or shiny new toys that you've had your eyes on for a while.
He knows what you need too. Sometimes you'll get to a point where you just want to sit down and take a rest, but He knows you can't, because if you do, you'll start getting lazy. You'll start not caring. He never wants that for you. He wants you to hold your head up high and be optimistic and worldly.
To sum it up, at the beginning of the day, say a little prayer, which is like a big gulp of air. It'll help you through the day, I promise. (: MaggieMae909 ♥
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