Boys

What complicated creatures are the things we call boys. They taunt us, break us, torture us with their words and sweet, sweet smiles. And when I say us I mean girls, of course. About every other week, month, or even day we fall victim to another boys innocent looks and charms.


I am like any other girl on this planet. I see a cute guy, bat my lashes, laugh at every dumb joke, plan my whole life around them, and wait for the magical moment of their eyes meeting mine and thinking it is love. I hope and pray that every second we don't see each other he is thinking of me the way I'm thinking of him. Because if he doesn't, my heart breaks and I go into a very slight depression for a week or so.

For a few years, all I thought about was having a boyfriend. That was back in middle school. I over obsessed at how I looked when I went out. I cared too much about the outside of a person instead of the inside. When one friend was in a so-called "relationship", I needed to have one too or I just didn't "measure up." Being homeschooled and in middle school kinda set you apart from the others. People thought you were weird, unsocialized, and/or stupid. None of those things ever pertained to me. At least I don't think so. MY POINT is that I didn't really have a chance to have a "relationship." Now looking back, I can fully see I didn't need one. No one had a car, job, or time.

But eventually I found someone who liked me. Someone who thought I was fun, pretty, sweet, cute, and cool enough to spend their time with. I thought I was so lucky. I still think I am, just because I learned. We were young. We hurt each others feelings. He took it too seriously. I was all about fun. It ended on a sour note. He's always in my heart and I'll never forget him.


As I grew up, I figured out that relationships take time, effort, planning, and money. This was sort of a shock to me. It just hit me one day that relationships aren't just about yourself. You have to think about the other person too.

Which leads me into the last relationship I had. This guy was a gentleman. He treated me right. We went on legit dates. He wanted to take things slow - for the first few months. After that it went down hill. If I had a differing opinion, I was wrong. If I wanted to spend more time with him or him take me somewhere nice, it would make him tense. He was always saving up for the next best thing. That made me mad and confused, thinking I wasn't worth it. But finally I figured out I didn't want it anymore and I let myself go. It felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. Of course, I was sad. I spent almost 10 months with this guy. He was my life. I was going to have to learn to live life as one person and not two.

I've treated boys as play things. I know that I am pretty. I use it to my advantage a lot of times. Now don't think of me as conceited or full of myself. I'm neither. I love my looks. I've embraced them. I've been told over and over and over again to not play with boys' hearts. But it's so hard not to when you know you'd never see or talk to them again. As I grow older, I do see that it's immature to do that and I'm growing out of it.

I'm going to meet so many more boys in my future. Romance may blossom out of those meetings or a deep dislike could come out of it. I'm just waiting for that one boy to come in and sweep me off my feet. This will take a while. I know boys sometimes just aren't ready for the commitment and the time for a relationship, and I've accepted it, no matter how hard it was. Boys are beautiful creatures. I just need to figure out why. MaggieMae909 ♥