I Don't Care

There have been several times in my life where I've had to tell someone "I don't care." I didn't care about them, what they had to say, how they felt, or anything to do with them. They were taking up valuable space in my mind and I was tired of hearing them talk.

Most of the time I'm saying I don't care about what that person does, like if my sister wants to do something around the house or play something, I'll just say "I don't care" because, honestly I don't. Not in a bad way, of course. I care what she does, but it's not enough to actually count in my mind.

Or if I get really mad and someone tries to make sure I'm alright, I try and push it away and tell them I don't care what happened, even though I really do, deep inside my heart.

Sometimes, people are shocked that I've said "I don't care" to them, because I'm telling them I don't care about what they're saying. Yeah, it's harsh, but sometimes, the truth hurts. Recently, I got so mad that I practically yelled "I don't care" at them because all they were talking about was themselves and had been the past 5 times I'd talked to them. They talked about how they needed this girl and they were trying to talk to her parents, trying to make it right. And that they were going to buy a new car at the end of the summer. And how he was having a hard time with his friends. It was nice to hear these things, but when they never cared enough to see what was going on in my world, I totally block them out.

See, I would've cared, I really would have.... if they asked about my life, my summer, my friends, my journey, but they never did. It was all about HIM. It seemed like he was taking advantage of the fact that he had a rough childhood and wanted people to feel guilty about what was happening in their own lives, like it wasn't something to cry about.

I know that I talk too much about things and get caught up in my world and overthink things and just go on and on about nothing. But I try and catch myself. I don't want to come off as selfish. I would feel awful and be so mad at myself that I never asked them a simple question about THEM. Because I know the feeling of not being cared about. Who wants that?

I try my very best to think of all people before myself. I want to make sure people are comfortable, are feeling alright, are happy, and every feeling in between. I don't want a person to feel left out. Every person has feelings. And every person counts. Remeber that. MaggieMae909♥